Not after the kids, or between work and the house. I mean, I do, of course, but when I say “I have to run,” it’s not because I’m looking for a nice way to finish a long phone conversation, or “I have to run” when I realize my daughter is waiting for me to pick her up from school and I completely forgot.

Now, when I say that I have to run, I mean that I actually put on my sweats and running shoes, grab my wireless earbuds, an arm phone holder, sunglasses, and, of course—the worst ever—sweatband, and leave the house for a run.

I started this ridiculous habit of mine almost a year ago, when the change I made to my diet started making me feel as if I could do things I’d never dreamed of before. I was full of energy, and I didn’t know where or how to channel it. I was constantly looking for something to get me out of the state I was stuck in.

A DEEP AND MEANINGFUL BUDDHIST QUOTE  

Do you know of this thing that works kind of like this: once you decide you want to buy a new car, all of a sudden, all the cars around you are for sale? Or, that one morning you decide you really want a pumpkin spiced cookie, and now every bakery is selling them (okay, that doesn’t count, with it being two weeks before Thanksgiving and all). Anyhow, there’s this thing that when we think of something, we somehow invite it into our lives, or some other insightful b@*#t (I tend to stop listening when someone is telling me all about positive thinking, or how their thoughts create reality, or any other deep and meaningful Buddhist knowledge). Well, that’s what happened to me with the running.

I was no longer at the point where I was waiting for the girls to leave the house in the morning just so I could go back to bed and try to make up for lost sleep. In fact, I was generally sleeping better all around. I was busy with my new diet, which made me work overtime in the kitchen, and I very quickly noticed that my migraines were gone. I started to feel a shift in my weight, and who doesn’t get energized when that happens? In a nutshell, I felt like something positive was finally happening in my life. And, then, I started getting Facebook ads that spoke the same fluent “misanthrope” that I did, but about running.

“I always hated running. I despised it. I mean, if running was a person, I wouldn’t even look at him.”

“Why even run? You can ride a bike, or take the bus. You can stay home and just watch Netflix.”

A SOUL SISTER

I could hear myself speak, but the lips moving on the monitor weren’t mine. And this ad chased me around every time I went on Facebook. It knew exactly who it was talking to. It’s not like I’m one of those people who break down on the first view (unless it’s an ad for an indulgingly rich chocolate). I will not be tricked into buying nonsense, especially when it comes to sports, after only one ad view. So, I kept noticing this video over and over again, and all of a sudden, I could hear the next sentences my soul sister said:

“I knew with utmost certainty that I was not finishing this challenge.” She was referring to the running challenge, and I was nodding in full agreement.

“And then, well, I finished the challenge.”

BAM.

My soul sister is sitting on a street bench with greenery all around her, telling me that she picked up running. What do I do with this information now??

“A running program for women who have never run before.”

Now, I don’t know who should get the blame for this one. I don’t know if it was the massive amount of greens I added to my daily diet, or my raging hormones sending me signals that they’re not here to stay for much longer, or this overwhelming need of mine to finally find the answers I am looking for, but something in my brain chemistry was not working properly, and I could physically feel a decision forming inside me – You’re not saying “no” to anything.

“Do you see that redhead with the glasses on the bench? She’s smiling! Are you smiling?”

“No.”

“Do you know something she doesn’t?”

“No.”

“So, come on! They are looking for women who have never run before? You’re going to show them who these women who have NEVER run before are!”

I clicked on the link in the ad: Laliway – A running program for women who always dreamed of running but never found their way. These are a lot of words trying to describe magic without really being able to explain it.

MAGIC

Through this brilliant program, I—who two years earlier begged my oldest for a break every 2 or 3 minutes during our Girls On The Run 5K finale, as I watched my borderline obese neighbor jump ahead of us with a smile on her face; who fired “f” bombs everywhere when her trainer friend sped up her treadmill (the fact that she got me on this horrible device in the first place was a miracle!)—I, with the bad back and the hatred for sweating and many other excuses and lies, am now running.

It wasn’t easy at all. It’s not like the moment I signed up for the program I also enrolled in the Spring Marathon. This program is slow and gradual, and the real magic of it is that it maintains the fine balance between effort and achievement. Every run was (is) difficult. I was sweaty, and I couldn’t believe I was doing it to myself again, but I also knew I was succeeding. I made progress, and I was proud of myself. I felt like I’d achieved something every day that I ran, and that feeling was the one I had been missing for a long time.

One morning, when I was taking my youngest to kindergarten, she noticed my workout clothes and asked me, quite naturally, if I was going for a run—just like that, as if it’s a given that one of the things mom does is run. My eyes teared up. I’ve been a mom for over 10 years, and only now, with my third child, have I gotten to this surreal moment where I transformed into a mom that goes out to run and not just the mom who “wants to rest all the time” (Unfortunately the quote is accurate, and I wasn’t the one who said it.).

I MUST RUN

Since then, I have run in two official races. Very short ones, don’t panic (4 and 5K).  I enroll in races just so I’ll have a reason to continue running in between and not lose my momentum, which could be easy to do, as it is still very difficult to go out for a run, especially in the hot summer days, or when it finally cools down and the last thing I want to do is put on a pair of thin tights.

But, I’m Maya Hirsch, 40 years old, and I’m a runner.